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Mr. Microsoft Puts His Dough To Work
It's easy to poke
fun at Bill Gates, the richest man on the planet. The Microsoft
billionaire has been the butt of thousands of jokes and one-liners.
As an old girlfriend said, "I used to call him Mr. Microsoft, but it
made him rather self-conscious, especially in the bedroom."
When Gates was in
high school, none of the girls wanted to date him. Not because he
looked like a nerd, but because he was president and founder of the
Nerd Club. He tried to ask one girl out, but she didn't understand
what he meant when he said, "Let's interface tonight." It didn't
help matters when he tried to entice her: "If you come home, I'll
show you my floppy."
Gates may not have
been smooth with the ladies, but he knew how to connect with
computers, and before long he had created some software, founded a
company and was well on his way to world domination. The computer
world, if not the real world, was soon bowing to him. If Microsoft
wasn't quite a monopoly, then Gates at least owned every hotel on
Boardwalk and Park Place. He was often accused of unfair business
practices, which is like accusing George Foreman of having an
appetite.
How rich is Bill
Gates? He's so rich, he can buy every member of Congress. With
enough money left over to give
Martha Stewart a
lifetime supply of Oil of Olay.
He's so rich, he
can afford his own island. And change its name to Great Bill-tain.
He's so rich, he
can put a large Microsoft logo on Venus. And an even bigger logo on
Serena.
His house in
Washington state is worth more than $100 million. It makes the White
House look like a hut in
Botswana. (With a
grinning Bush man in charge.) A 21st century high-tech
house, it's full of modern amenities, such as a 17-by-60-foot
swimming pool that plays music underwater, a reception hall that
seats 150 people and an underground shelter that allows the maids
and babysitters to hide from immigration.
Yes, it's easy to
poke fun at Bill Gates. What he's doing is much harder: Giving his
dough away. Well, a big lump of it anyway, enough to make the
world's biggest pizza -- or as George Foreman would say, "A nice
snack."
Through the Bill
and Melinda Gates Foundation, he and his wife have pledged more than
$7 billion for various causes and put a sharp focus on fighting
diseases in poor countries. They recently tripled their funding for
tuberculosis eradication to $900 million over the next decade,
hoping to save as many as 14 million lives. That's a lot of people,
folks, almost an entire neighborhood in China.
When the world's
richest man gives money away, there are bound to be skeptics, people
who question his motives. Is he just giving himself more tax
deductions? Is he trying to create goodwill to offset Microsoft's
poor image? Is he tired of receiving "Dear Uncle Bill" letters from
those long-lost nephews in Nigeria?
Whatever his
motives, he's doing the right thing: trying to help the
underprivileged.
How rich is he?
He's so rich, he can do what many countries can't: provide hope for
their citizens. And to them, there's no one bigger than Mr.
Microsoft.
 Melvin
Durai is a U.S.-based writer and humorist who grew up
in Zambia. His weekly humour columns are read by thousands of
people in more than 90 countries. For an email subscription
to his columns, please visit his
website
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March
2006