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Recycling appears to be very big business these days, especially in
Africa.
I
used to drool at the garbage under and around Kafue Roundabout,
imagining the billions I would mint just from recycling trash.
Billions my foot! I have learnt that money is not in trash or that
cholera infested garbage that stinks up your townships.
In
another life I knew a blind someone who could tell he was in Kabwata
just from the smell of uncollected garbage.
I
thought to myself, then, that there was something wrong with
Zambians for not investing in our garbage. Little did I realize they
were already recycling something else.
It
took a trip into Bongoland to open my blind eyes. I have just
returned from trotting the globe, not in the ‘Luciferian’ way
though, but in the good old fashioned, time-tested pursuit for an
honest living.
Ever heard of Bongoland? Yes, I know you had horrid geography
teachers, but that must surely make you wish you had me to teach you
real geography.
Bongoland is what Tanzanians now call their country. Don’t ask me
why, though.
I
found the ‘Bonglish’ – oh please, allow me some poetic license here
– engaged in massive recycling – not of garbage, but politicians!!!
The guy with the photogenic smile, Jikaya Kikwete won the elections
and ignited street parties and orgies of celebration. I thought the
chap must really be the quintessential man of the people.
So
I thought I could join in the fun from the cynic’s bench in the pub.
Like the unobtrusive gecko I am, I chose my spot on the wall and
listened to the ‘Bonglish’ speak about their elections.
“Aah man! Just another bunch of recycled soap box generals that we
have failed to send to the knackers’ yard after the departure of
Mwalimu “JK”. Now we have another “JK”-wannabe with an even bigger
cabinet full of women,” spat Baba Juma after a swig of beer ‘yamoto’
and a belch that would have put a hippo to shame.
“It’s happening everywhere in Africa my friend. The so-called
iron-lady of Liberia is recycled from the infamous Charles Taylor
regime, the new deal from the Frederick Chiluba government and I
hear there are like five other recycled wannabes waiting to
‘democratically’ topple “this government that is fighting
corruption”, Mozambique got itself a well-greased political
recycling plant that has a shorter menu of choices since Samora.
“Then remember Nujoma’s men in waiting. Military regimes have
cleaned up their act so well that they are now recycling themselves
all over again – Obasanjo is a good example and the talk in Abuja is
that he may be succeeded by his predecessor General Ibrahim
Babangida. Same-o-same-o, mate,” said his nameless mate with
intellectual flourish.
That’s Bongoland for you.
I
took the trip to Bongoland overlanding at 70Km per hour.
“You have no idea how slow that is unless you have taken such a trip
before, but it is good for taking in the breathtaking scenery of
Northern Zambia wasted on your good-for-nothing Bemba cousins,” the
mouse eating Ngonis whimpers.
What I saw, however, disconcerted me and made me wonder when you
guys privatised your roads. Yep, just when did you sell your roads
to Somali truckers?
If
Somalia were a normal country like others on the continent, with a
flag, you just may have ended up with the Somali flag flying all
over the Great North Road up to Dar and Mombasa.
They are living large on that highway like they own it. Every other
truck belongs to a Somali – even broken down trucks for that matter
and one caused the death of 13 Zambians on Friday the 13th
January, here is a very happy new year for you.
Back to the hell run days again.
It’s about time your Road Traffic authorities checked on their
driver’s licences and got them properly tested. You need to protect
lives on your roads.
One has to remember that Somalia is not a ‘regular’ country. It is a
country run by warlords with no rule of law. I cannot imagine a
driving school in Mogadishu, no matter how hard I try.
It’s easier to find one on the moon.
Is
the Gecko being racist or xenophobic? I don’t think so. I believe
your borders are still open to law-abiding migrants and if you can
make a fellow African: white, yellow, green, blue or rainbow,
Christian or Muslim, find peace of mind and heart here, you as
Zambians have always been too happy to oblige.
But some things have to be stated plainly without too much
circumlocution or mincing around. Talking about life and death here.
Reminds me of the general politic that I saw on the London leg of my
limited “World Tour”; I thought I could learn a thing or two from
the World of Tourism. It is usually a very successful melting pot of
global ambition to lure as many tourists to one’s country than
others.
Europeans carry similar attitudes to each other. The Poles are
usually lampooned almost to racist levels. The English have their
funk about Aussies and vice versa. The Turks in Germany have not had
it easy either.
I
should not remind you of what is happening in the economic world.
China is a big threat…and what is being talked about here makes one
shudder.
But what the heck, such is life.
See you on the wall. |
February
2006